Sunday, January 17, 2010

What's all this then?

Right. Sex scenes, and why I don't write them. Actually, I said this already, in a story that hopefully will be published someday, so I'll just quote myself. This is from a story called 'Chasing His Own Tale 2: Struck By Inspiration', and believe me, it's no sequel. ('Chasing His Own Tale', the story of an author trying to write a story, and getting a lot of flak from his characters as he does, is available here.) The characters are Author Guy (that's me), Second Rate (a Hero wannabe), and his paramour, Yellow Haired Panther.

“Cut!” I said loudly. They blinked and stopped gazing into each other’s eyes. “That’s a wrap.”
“What?” said YHP.
“He filmed us,” said Second Rate. “It’s a standard part of contracts these days, called ‘research footage.’ I’ve never seen it used for an intro before.”
“Where else would I use it?” I asked automatically, but then I remembered, and put up a hand before he could try to remind me. “Don’t tell me, I know where it’s usually used. I don’t do those kinds of scenes.”
“You don’t?” asked Rate.
“That is a downside,” commented YHP, who’d caught up.
“Anything that a sex scene could contribute to a story can be said just as well without all the bodies in motion, and probably better.”
SR smiled. “And they make you feel all oogey, too.”
“Damn straight. And with tape like that who needs ‘em? If I cut it up right, I should be able to get three scenes out of that, maybe four.” I zipped through the tape, back and forth. “No, three.”
“Not bad for an intro,” agreed Rate. “But this no-sex thing, do you really think that’ll fly with a paranormal? Those things are practically built on sex. Where are we, anyhow?”

I'm told that this sort of thing can be done well, but since I doubt it will be done well by me I don't do it. On the other hand, I can manage to put words like 'oogey' into a book, that's gotta count for something.

6 comments:

ghostposts said...

great article.

Helen Ginger said...

Cute. Oogey, huh. Not sure if that word would work, even in a paranormal. This was fun.

Helen
Straight From Hel

Author Guy said...

Thanks. The story is a bit of comic weirdness, about an author trying to write a paranormal. 'Oogey' does not appear in the paranormal itself.

Crowbabe said...

A creative way to communicate your thoughts/opinions. I enjoyed it, but have a technical suggestion ~ kill your adverbs...

Annaka

Donna Hatch said...

I don't write sex scenes either, but not because I couldn't (cocky smirk) it's because I'm an insufferable prude!
I do like hot kissing scenes, though...

Author Guy said...

Crowbabe, you should see the query letter I dreamed up to describe the paranormal novel this comic short was written about. I had to do it in a dialog format, but the agents I've heard back from didn't seem to appreciate the originality, even though many of them have been wondering about new models and paradigms for getting books into their hands.